Dear Columbus,
I know summer is nearly upon us, so I just wanted to send you a quick note. The temperature is already starting to rise and I know that makes you restless, but just keep a few things in mind. Please stop sucker punching people, if that’s all you can do to show how manly you are then you need to stop being a cunt. Also please stop knocking people’s teeth out that never did anything to you, except for looking at you the wrong way, I really hate having to goto the ER at 4 am.
And one last thing, sorry this is already too long. Please be mindful of the roads, there’s a lot of new people taking to the streets on bikes. I’ve been out here all through winter and last fall, so I know how janky you guys are with your cars, taxis and buses. But they don’t, so be nice to them, I know I’m a lost cause and will fight/cut off/yell/flip off every one of you until I get off my bike.
Thanks love, keep up the nice weather..
yours,
Blake
